This is not an invitation to disconnect from our real world problems and retreat into bliss (also known as “spiritual bypassing”). On the contrary, we believe that, through building our capacity for love, we’ll be better suited to meet both the joys and the challenges of being alive right now.
We live in an age of global crises where many of us are also socially alienated. Discourse has grown coarser, attention is fractured, and empathy can seem daunting. So why focus on love as a topic for exploration?
This is not an invitation to disconnect from our real world problems and retreat into bliss (also known as “spiritual bypassing”). On the contrary, we believe that, through building our capacity for love, we’ll be better suited to meet both the joys and the challenges of being alive right now.
Whatever is on the horizon, we can start in this moment. As Joseph Goldstein says, “If we want to be of benefit for ourselves and others, we need to start with our minds and hearts. When we train our minds to be our friends, our actions are led by clarity and care, rather than anger or delusion.”
Human beings are biologically wired for connection, but primed for threat detection. Globally, politicians and members of the media often utilize this fact to center fear and us-versus-them narratives for their own gain. To be clear: there are real threats to real people in this world, whether that’s from the aftermath of a hurricane, physical danger, economic pressures, and much more. And also, every day, around the globe, the majority of people wake up and try their best to be good friends, family members, coworkers, neighbors, and citizens.
But in an age of isolation, we need to actively choose to feel connected to this goodness. No single person is going to solve the problems we face together, nor can real healing be done alone. Meditation, especially loving-kindness, can transform how we view and engage with the world. “Attitudes in our minds can keep us from being able to wish well to ourselves and others, to be kind. Our judgments, expectations, demands, or resentments can get in the way of our love and appreciation,” says Pascal Auclair. “We need to abandon the obstacles.”
What do we mean by love? According to devon hase, “Love in its biggest sense is the heart's capacity to hold the whole world with a sense of respect… When I hold that view, everything becomes more lively. The whole world then is imbued with a sense of importance.”
Loving everyone doesn’t mean that we have to like everyone. It doesn’t mean avoiding conflict or giving up on our ethics. Real love can live side-by-side with any emotion, and does not ask us to deny grief, anger, or anything else that arises. In fact, seeing ourselves fully, with grace and compassion, is how we learn to extend that same perceptiveness to others.
And it takes practice! As Matthew Hepburn says about loving-kindness, “If you haven't watered a plant in a long time, the soil doesn't take in the water evenly. Sometimes it's hard for us to receive goodwill, but if you continue watering consistently, over time the soil becomes more receptive. So don't expect it to go perfectly, but make a commitment to offer yourself goodwill on a regular basis.”
We are facing issues around the planet that will require diligence, compassion, and fortitude to solve. Bolstering our sense of love and appreciation is a way for us to keep our energy up for the long work ahead. Loving-kindness, like any practice, can at times be boring, or even annoying, but we can commit to the discipline of keeping our hearts open and brave the same way we commit to maintaining our physical health. The key is to experiment and find a way that works for you.
So join us as we work to build a sense of love for ourselves and each other together throughout the month of January. It’s not an easy path, but it’s vitally needed to meet this moment, and those to come.
